"Oh,
you're draining my energy! This is such an energy drain!"
The Energy Drain
When you don't know what to do
Many times our kids do something that
makes our chin drop. Or maybe what we have been trying just is
not working. What do you do when you can not think of what to
do? Love and Logic® suggests having an
Energy Drain!
1. An energy drain is great if your children are doing
something you cannot stand - fighting, lying, biting, kicking,
arguing, getting into big mischief, or whatever just happened that
sent you running for Google for ideas. When they misbehave, avoid
arguing, lecturing, warning, reminding or threatening. Instead just
put your hand on your forehead, maybe go limp, and say, "Oh, you're
draining my energy. This is such an energy drain."
2. Then later when they want something from you
say, "Remember when you were - fighting, lying, biting, kicking,
arguing, getting into big mischief, or whatever - well, that drained
my energy. I don't have enough energy to do what you want (make
dinner, drive to basketball, etc.) What are you going to do to
put my energy back in?
3. Of course, they'll be perplexed which is okay.
Ask if they want suggestions. Then when they do, offer three
choices that are about Restitution, or putting energy back in by
doing extra chores, or by helping you rest and relax.
This method gives you a chance to teach them that their
behavior impacts others. It also shows them that, they can mess up
and do something to repair the situation.
Want an example? I had a mom start using the Energy
Drain. and become quite proficient at it. The result is
compassionate children and help around the house! Here is a
recent letter she sent in, sharing how well it has worked.
Last week I came home and the kids were whining complaining
baiting each other. I laid down on the sofa telling
them that I didn’t have energy for making dinner or for
Chanukah. They stopped what they were doing and my
oldest daughter called a "kid meeting" in the living room.
I could hear them discussing ways to give me my energy back.
The final decision was that they should put on a PUPPET SHOW
for me
J
So they went upstairs and brought down some puppets and put
on a show at the foot of the sofa. Mostly my son and
oldest daughter performed, but the youngest brought me cups
of cold water until my energy returned.
- A Sammamish Mom
Give it a try and then write and let me know how it
worked out.